A Fish Called Wanda 1988

A tale of murder, lust, greed, revenge and seafood!

I understand that a comedy set in 1988 is not a period drama, but this is my blog and A Fish Called Wanda is one of my fave films of all time. Yes, it has lots of swearing and raunchiness in it, but it is all there for comedic effect. And I would much rather see this film than the crappy violence in the theatres these days. In fact, we watched this at the cottage with our adult sons and their girlfriends a few weeks ago. And boy does it ever hold up. Great comedy is great comedy.

Archie: All right, all right, I apologize.
Otto: You're really sorry?
Archie: I'm really really sorry. I apologize unreservedly.
Otto: You take it back?
Archie: I do. I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.
Otto:...Okay.

Archie: Wanda, do you have any idea what it's like being English? Being so correct all the time, being so stifled by this dread of, of doing the wrong thing, of saying to someone, 'Are you married?' and hearing, 'My wife left me this morning' or saying, uh, 'Do you have children?' and being told they all burned to death on Wednesday. You see, Wanda, We're all terrified of embarrassment. That's why we're so - dead. Most of my friends are dead, you know; we've these piles of corpses to dinner. But you're alive, God bless you, and I want to be, I'm so fed up with all this. I want to make love with you, Wanda. I'm a good lover - at least, used to be, back in the early 14th century. Can we go to bed?

Otto: Guess I'll have to ask you an easy one, eh, Ken? OK. Um...Let me think, let me think. Um...Where are the diamonds? I'll give you a clue. Somewhere around the airport.
Ken: I'm n-n-n...
Otto: No hassle. There's plenty of time. I'll just sit here and eat my chips till you tell me. The English contribution to world cuisine: the chip. What do the English usually eat with chips to make them more interesting? Wait a moment! It's fish. Isn't it? [Dipping into the fish tank with a net] Oh! Here, boy. Down the hatch. [Eats the fish] Delicious!
Ken: You b-b-b...
Otto: Better eat the green one? OK. What's this one's name? Well, not Wanda, anyway. I'm going to call her Lunch. Hello, Lunch. Hello! [Eats the fish] Ew! Avoid the green ones - not ripe yet!

Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Wanda: Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I've known sheep that could outwit you. I've worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you're an intellectual, don't you ape?
Otto: Apes don't read philosophy.
Wanda: Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself" and the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.

Ken: Re-venge!
Otto: [Laughing] It's K-K-K-Ken! C-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-c-catch me K-K-K-Ken?

Politically incorrect? Absolutely. But Ken does get his revenge, doesn't he? If you haven't seen this one in a while, it is well worth seeking out. And don't watch the watered down TV version. This one deserves to be seen uncut and without commercials.


Any other fans out there???

Cheers!

My fave British (non period) comedies

Four Weddings and a Funeral 1994

Young Bridesmaid: What's bonking?
Scarlett: Well, it's kinda like table tennis, only with slightly smaller balls.

Love Actually 2004

Sam: Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love.

The Full Monty

Dave: Anti-wrinkle cream there may be, but anti-fat-bastard cream there is not. 

A Fish Called Wanda 1988

Ken: Rev-enge!
Otto: [laughing] It's K-K-K-Ken! C-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-c-catch me, K-K-K-Ken?

Calendar Girls 2003

Chris: Lawrence, we're going to need considerably bigger buns.

Educating Rita 1983

Rita: Christ! My customer! She only come in for a demi-wave, she'll come out looking like a flippin' muppet!

Notting Hill 1999

Keziah: No thanks, I'm a fruitarian.
Max: I didn't realize that.
William: And, ahm: what exactly is a fruitarian?
Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feeling so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush - that are, in fact, dead already.
William: Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots...
Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.
William: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!

Bridget Jones's Diary 2001

Mr. Darcy: I like a woman with an arse you can park a bike in and balance a pint of beer on.

Death at a Funeral 2007 (not 2010!)

Jane: Would you like a cup of tea, Sandra?
Sandra: Tea can do many things, Jane, but it can't bring back the dead.

Kinky Boots 2005

Lauren: Lola, you're gonna have to excuse Charlie. We don't have many transvestites in Northampton.
Lola: I'm not merely a transvestite, sweetheart. I'm also a drag queen. It's a simple equation. A drag queen puts on a frock, looks like Kylie. A transvestite puts on a frock, looks like... Boris Yeltsin in lipstick. There, I said it.

About a Boy 2002

Marcus: Suddenly I realized - two people isn't enough. You need backup. If you're only two people, and someone drops off the edge, then you're on your own. Two isn't a large enough number. You need three at least.

Pirate Radio (The Boat That Rocked) 2009

Dave: So tell us Mark, now at the very end - what was your secret? How did you get all them girls?
Mark: Simple. Don't say anything at all.
'Young' Carl: Nothing?
Mark: Nothing. Then, when the tension becomes too much to bear, you finally, finally, you just say: "How about it, then?"

Bend It Like Beckham 2002

Wedding Guest: Lesbian? Her birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces.

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So, there you have a list of some of my favourite British Comedy Films (not period pieces). I have obviously left a few off of my list which should be there so please help me out and leave a comment with your faves, whether they are on my list or not!

Cheers!