Downton Abbey Season 3 Episode 2

SPOILER ALERT! This post is intended for those who have already seen Season 3 Episode 2!

Strallen you utter bastard! You cruel, waffling, doddery old man! Lady Edith is well shot of you. I smell a career in the future for you my dear.

Isobel:  You can help her by finding her something to do.

Hall Barn Beaconsfield (Sir Anthony Strallen's house Locksley)

Actually I was hoping she would have her moment of happiness (thumbing her nose to Lady Mary) and then Strallen would pop off on the Italian honeymoon leaving Edith as Queen of Locksley Manor. But alas, it is not to be for Edith.

Lady Edith: Hello Granny. Isn't it exciting?

Dowager Countess Violet: At my age, one must ration one's excitement.

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Dowager Countess Violet: I was rather sad you decided against Patou. I would have paid.

Cora: Lucile was safer. We don't want her looking like a chorus girl.

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Is it just me or does anyone else think that Julian Fellowes rather wishes he was a girl? In the 1920s? Living in a big Country House? The man is really in touch with his feminine side. Thank goodness, speaking as a fellowe girly girl! Sorry for that one. Couldn't resist.

The blame for this mess of course, can be laid squarely on the ever pudgier Lord Grantham and his dear mama Violet. With relatives like these, who needs enemies? At least wicked Mary is wishing her well at this point.

Speaking of wicked Mary, Matthew may be wishing for his dear, sweet Ginger Lavinia at this point.

Matthew: I'm not accusing you of faking it.

Yes, actually Matthew you were! And she is totally capable of it as you well know. But Daisy backed her up on this one. Daisy is the one who actually saved Downton Abbey. Someone give her a raise and two scullery maids to boss around!

I was glad to see that all out war had been declared between O'Brien and Thomas. And poor dopey Molesly is the pawn in their chess game. Bring it on!

It was also lovely to see Mrs. Hughs' story line resolve so sweetly. I was in tears when she spotted Carson singing to his silverware. My fave lines here were:

Mrs. Patmore: It's not cancer. It's a benign something-or-other, nothing more.

Mr. Carson: ♫ Dashing away with a smoothing iron, she stole my heart away! ♫

Greys Court, Oxfordshire (Downton House belonging to the Crawley family)

Thank goodness for Cora and Branson for pointing out that to move to "Downton House" and only need 8 servants would be heaven for anyone not as snooty as Mary or Lord Grantham. And what is this about still owning most of the village???? Boo hoo. Oh, well. Keep the gorgeous locations coming and we will forgive you, Sir Julian.

Well Chief Inspector Anna will soon have this case cracked but possibly not before Bates murders his cell mate or vice versa. And what was that thing he stuffed into the crack in the wall? A cigar butt with a knife in it or just a bit of spliffy? And what the heck has happened to Bates' bum leg? He must have been doing physio in jail as he seems to skip around that exercise yard.

Well we shall have to wait for the answers to these and other questions...as the Downton Abbey Turns.

Now Mrs. Patmore, give the tall footman some cheese before he gags on the Oysters a la Russe or some of the other "pickety bits".

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Violet: I really think you should go to bed. No bride wants to look tired at her wedding. It either means she's anxious or she's been up to no good.

Edith: I won't sleep a wink.

Sybil: Tonight or tomorrow?

Violet: Sybil, vulgarity is no substitute for wit.

Sybil: Well, you started it!